Times when I feel I'm still very much Japanese.

I am not completely right-winged or an extreme loyalist to my own country. I hope you won't get the wrong idea just because I've posted the Japanese imperial flag.

I guess living overseas won't change who you are or the way you think of things so much.

One point, I thought it did to me.

Every time I go back to Japan, my friends tell me I've been so Americanized/Westernized. They don't think of me as one of these Japanese people. It is funny to me. I am still the same person as I always was and very much Japanese when it comes to thinking about things. My culture and the way I feel and think is Japanese. Then what is the Japanese way of thinking? What is the American point of view? I know and agree that social structure and function affect people.

Lately, I saw Clint Eastwood's two movies: "Flags of Our Fathers" and "Letters from Iwo Jima." It is technically the same plot: the battle of Iwo Jima and raising the flag on Iwo Jima. The only difference these movies have is that one is American and the other is the Japanese perspective of the war. I normally don't enjoy war movies.. but when it is associated with Japan, I give it a try. I like to know more about my own heritage and history. [ even if the storyline is fictional. ]

I didn't enjoy "Flags of Our Fathers." Maybe it focused too much on how the 3 surviving flag-raisers were used as the US government propaganda tools to lift the morale of the American people and stuff their war chests. I felt the American way of being loyal to your own country is not giving up on your life. They will talk about they will die for their country, but getting the fame and becoming the war hero seemed more important. I don't know much about how these American soldiers felt, so probably it is a better idea to keep my big mouth shut. To me, Americans = saying glorious stuff > actions.

On the other hand, I empathized with the people in "Letters from Iwo Jima." I actually started feeling maybe because I am Japanese and could almost feel what they felt. Of course there were a lot of ups and downs during the movie. The old Japanese way of "how to be a loyal to your own country" fascinates me in some degrees. I don't totally agree with their ideas though. I probably won't take my own life how they did. I believe that committing suicide is not the honorable way for the country. It was so sad to hear the soldiers saying "permit me to die with honor with my men" over and over in the movie. My belief is to not take your own life because you feel you failed at something. To continue fighting would better serve the Emperor and country. It applies to everyday life: keep fighting until you are burnt out, so one day you will achieve what you want. Death is never better than escaping or saving your own life. OK, now I feel I'm lost. I don't think this was my whole point of wanting to write about these two movies. It's so different how loyal we are right now and how they were back in war times. People are not as loyal as these soldiers who died for the country. Rather, people like my generation waste their lives just because they are not happy with one thing or more in their lives. Committing suicide is more like a trend in the Japanese culture now.

These two movies were directed and produced by the same people, but yet I felt more comfortable watching the Japanese perspective one. At the end, I realized I am loyal to my country. Do I feel I'm so Japanese? Maybe a little.